In couples therapy, I pay close attention to the unconscious dynamics that shape the relationship. Often, individuals harbor pre-existing, unconscious frameworks through which they perceive their partners, and they may unconsciously conform to these perceptions. When one partner is expected to fulfill an unconscious role, they may suppress their own desires to meet this expectation. This dynamic can create a sense of stagnation, where partners find themselves ensnared in a cycle of expectation, losing the capacity for joy in their connection. Couples therapy serves as a space for partners to recognize and take ownership of their unconscious contributions to the relational dynamic, allowing for the possibility of transformation and the re-establishment of desire within the partnership. Freud posited that “the unconscious of one human being can react on that of another without passing into consciousness.”

Adolescence is a really important time in your life. It’s when your body starts to change, you begin to feel new feelings about yourself and others, and you start to look to your friends more than your parents for guidance. This can be a confusing time because you might feel pressure to fit in with what others expect of you, while also trying to figure out who you really are. During this time, you might ask yourself big questions like, “What does it mean to be a boy or a girl?” or “How do I express my identity?” Sometimes, the world can feel different from what you thought it was when you were younger, and that can be a little scary. In therapy, you have a special space just for you, where you can talk about your feelings and thoughts without worrying about what others think.

Psychoanalysis with children addresses the intricate dynamics of their personalities, emphasizing the significance of language in shaping their experiences. In this treatment, children are seen as subjects in the making, whose desires and conflicts manifest through play, drawings, and narratives. In psychoanalysis the child’s unique language, recognizing that their expressions often reveal deeper unconscious processes, while engaging with the child’s fantasies as they relate to the important people in their life. Decreasing anxiety helps the child navigate their feelings and desires, fostering a sense of agency and identity, and allowing for the emergence of new meanings.